So, tell it to me straight. Am I the only one noticing that everyone on planet Earth is suddenly well, naked? When did that become so normal? So in? So today? So mainstream? And am I the only one sitting here thinking – dude, aren’t you cold? I don’t know if you haven’t noticed or anything, but it’s like Winter up over here in this part of the worldwide kingdom. We’re pushing single digits with that windchill factor thing and the weatherman has been using the ‘S’ word and the ‘I’ word for weeks now. (That’s snow and ice for you good for nothing so-and-so’s that live way down south by the equator that don’t even know what the word cold means. But seriously, you should put your clothes back on too. If for no other reason than to avoid skin cancer. It’s a thing, skin cancer. I’ve read about it. So yeah, clothes, wear them.) But for reals, why is everyone suddenly naked? Everywhere I look I’m hit in the face with some story related to nudity in one form or another. Every movie I pop in the DVD has some sort of nude scene. Even the commercials on TV have some level of undress these days. It’s like no one wants to wear clothes any more.
I think I first noticed this trend in Walmart. In fact, I think a lot of these trends begin in Walmart. The manchild was maybe 4ish. I monitored all of his TV shows and movies carefully back then because he was a sponge. Monkey see, monkey do was his motto. So it was very important to control his data input to materials that were age appropriate. This was quite the challenge when we ventured out in public, especially if we ventured to a Walmart. On this particular day, we encountered a girl who was only half clothed. I say a girl, she was probably in her twenties. But any female younger than me in my mind is a girl. You have to be at least my age or older to qualify as a woman, otherwise you’re still young and dumb. Unless you’re one of my besties, and then you’re given a free pass to womanhood. I’m judgmental and flaky. Sue me. Anyway, this girl had on a t-shirt. And that’s it. Oh, wait, she had on flip-flops too. But that’s it. No pants, no shorts, and NO UNDERGARMENTS. How do I know that you ask? Did I look up her shirt? Did the manchild look up her shirt? No, neither of us is a pervert…yet. The manchild is only 13, so there’s still time the pervert side in him might come out. But I knew she didn’t have on any undergarments because the white t-shirt she had on was completely see through. And it barely covered her rump. She pranced all over Walmart in it. And as she pranced by us, I quickly diverted the manchild’s attention with ‘Look, a ball!’ which I then had to buy because that was the manchild’s favorite toy back in those days. Back then I thought what she was wearing to be super risqué. Today, I think she was practically drowning in clothes in comparison to what people aren’t wearing in public these days.
A few months ago, I was driving home and passed a lady on the back of a motorcycle wearing jeans and a bra. A bra. She had a fish net something over it. But it was a bra. The fish net thing didn’t cover anything on her body and it certainly didn’t cover her bra. And that’s what my son saw as we sat beside them at the stoplight. Her black lace bra. The sad thing is I’ve had people apply for jobs dressed exactly the same way. I would never apply for a job in just my bra, whether I had a fish net something or other over it or not. No one is going to see my bra but me and the husband and maybe my dog. Am I alone in this thinking? Or is showing your bra in public really the new cool, hip thing to do? I see it all the time now at the mall,at restaurants, at the movies, and of course, Walmart. I find it vulgar and completely inappropriate. There are kids everywhere. Kids shouldn’t see that. And I totally want to shout – Dude, put your clothes back on.
And then we have TV, movies, and the internet. OMG. It’s not just bras and undies there. Oh no. It’s full on, in your face nudity. All the time. It’s not like the nudity enhances the story line is it? It’s still the same story whether you throw a willie in there isn’t it? So in theory you could totally leave that willie out and it would still be a great story. Next up is everyone posing nude for this cause or that cause. What? Why? Whatever happened to just giving money to a cause or hosting a 5K for a cause or having a telethon for a cause? Now we gotta strip down to our birthday suit to raise awareness for something because nothing gets attention quite like the tatas on display? Well, kudos for you, but my kid ain’t visiting that website or reading that magazine because he’s forbidden from seeing tatas and willies until he’s 18, mama’s rules.
A few days ago, a friend of mine posted a picture of her pixie cut that she’s growing out with the hashtag ‘pixiegrowout’ on a picture posting platform. I love hashtags. One click on a hashtag and you’ve opened the floodgate to a world of pictures from all over the globe on that topic. I clicked on the ‘pixiegrowout’ because I also love hair and hairstyles and seeing how people combine their hair with hairstyles. (Yes, I’m nosy. I also like to look at real estate online just to see how real life people decorate their houses, not because I want to actually buy a house.) One picture in particular caught my eye. She had red hair of course, with a seriously super cute bob cut. I’m a fan of the bob cut. And I clicked on her name and her whole account popped up. I closed it immediately. Why? Because there was SO MUCH SKIN, not completely nude, but seriously close enough to hurt my eyeballs! Why would anyone do that? On a completely open forum? Where anyone could see? I see that all the time on social network sites. UGH! Dude, put your clothes back on!
Another friend showed me a picture of her teenage daughter’s best friend on a photo sharing site and said ‘Isn’t she the cutest little girl ever?’ As soon I saw it, I was instantly in mom mode with ‘Why is she only wearing her bra? Is this online? Can anyone see this? Does her mom know she posted that? How old is this kid?’ My friend was shocked. She had only seen the little girl’s sweet face and hadn’t even noticed what she had on. And to answer the question – yes, the picture is posted online, but no, only her friends can see it. Still, why is it even posted online? Why isn’t someone monitoring her account? The manchild would be grounded until he was 42 years old if he posted a picture of himself in his bra! No one is allowed to see him in his bra! No one!
I don’t know. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe it’s because I’m old. Maybe I’m just not in the ‘now’ crowd anymore. I just hold the strong opinion that clothes are meant to be worn over your undergarments and shouldn’t be see through. And I think you shouldn’t be running around naked. Those are standard society rules that have been in place since the day Adam and Eve ate the apple. I know some rules you can bend and some can even be broken, but this one? This one rule? (OK, so technically I listed two rules, but they make up one total rule regarding covering your naked butt.) You’re supposed to follow it. If for no other reason than to avoid skin cancer. Plus if you’re hiking in a super wooded area, you’ll thank for me for reminding you to wear clothes. Seed ticks roam those parts and they are a royal pain to remove. Boots, socks, long pants, and long sleeves shirts are a must in a super wooded area if you want to avoid those pests. Oh and if you are deep in the south, clothes are great protection against mosquitoes. Let’s see what else? Oh duh! It’s still WINTER! You’re all going to freeze to death and DIE if you don’t put your flipping clothes back on. See? All very good reasons to wear clothes. So seriously now, all together – Dude, put your clothes back on! And for you super weirdos out there with baggy pant syndrome – Buy a belt. Thank you, that is all…
Swimming in Life's Fish Bowl 